Well, honestly I thought it would take me a little longer to find something worth flushing but it only took mere seconds. Upon a quick look through the news on yahoo, I found a piffle gem.

It appears a man in Texas rolled into a local seven eleven, brandishing a baseball bat and knife he proceeded to beat the piss out of the register until it popped open. He then proceeded to grab up ten (10) boxes of condoms and an unspecified energy drink and left the convenience store. That's right our hero left the money and by the way when I said he rolled into the store, that wasn't a cool turn of phrase, he was in a wheelchair.

One can only assume that our friend in the wheelchair must have one hell of a sex life, ten boxes of rubbers, damn 90% would dry rot before I got to use them, but that's a story for another time. Given the fact he left the money and obviously is wading in the shallow end of the gene pool, it's good our boy uses the rubbers at least that way we can be assured of him not spreading his seed into the world and multiplying. The theft of the energy drink is obviously linked to the need for ten boxes of condoms, maybe somebody should explain to him the benefits of gatorade. The biggest factor in making this piffle and flush worthy is the fact that nowhere in the story does it say the man was caught. I'm totally amazed by this fact. Seriously, nothing against people in wheelchairs but how the hell hard could it be to catch someone rolling away ? Whats he got like a ten mile an hour top speed ? Even if he goes all out I can't imagine he could go to long before his arms got tired. I saw the movie Murderball, awesome, the sports tough and those guys are tough and I doubt I could catch one of them, but a guy in a wheelchair loaded down with ten boxes of trojans isn't an athlete. Another question that comes to mind is how did he not get disarmed? It's not like he had a gun, he had a bat and a knife. Why didn't the clerk just walk over to the guy, tip him over and take his chair and that would be it. The clerk is apparently no brighter than our thief and deserves to be flushed alongside him.

Due to the ineptitude of the clerk and the utter stupidity of the thief, this story gets 8 pieces of corn stuck in it out of ten.

You can read the full article HERE .

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